If you didn't know already, I'm a girl. *Insert fake laughter + affirmations of my humor* (kidding). I have emotions (and lots of them). I have times when I'm more emotional than other times. I have days when I feel completely emotionless. Fact of the matter is, for most of my life my emotions have lead me to do/say/think some crazy things. Not all of them have been bad, but not all of them have been good either.
Why do I say this? Because right now in my life and in yours we have an opportunity to allow God to chisel something away. We have the opportunity to say, "Yes God, I trust you and know that you have the best plan for me. Chisel out of me anything not of You." Yet, most days we decide to ignore that opportunity. Why do we do that? Now the list could be extremely short or long for many of us, but for me it is fear. I am afraid to get hurt. I am mostly afraid to get hurt and then not know how to recover. I've been hurt a lot in my life (as I'm sure everyone reading this can relate) and although the healing process has gotten clearer in my recent hurts, it doesn't make it hurt any less. You will still go through times when the healing takes more than a few days; when it takes months, maybe even years. The problem is fear for me; but, I'm ready to overcome that.
Recently, I asked God to "chisel" out some stuff in me. It didn't take very long because the list of things that separate me from being exactly like Christ is pretty long. God called out my emotions. When I get hurt, upset, angry, or basically any of the HALT emotions (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), I go into auto-pilot and my emotions take over. I say things I don't mean, do things that mess good things up, and think things that send me into night-long cry-sessions. As much as it pains me to say it, my emotions have led me for a long time.
This is not easy to say, just so you know. My heart is aching and my hands keep pulling back from the keyboard while my mind is saying, "Just erase the majority of what you've typed and say something 'encouraging' instead." But that's not what I'm going to do. You know I love to write encouraging things, but I believe that sometimes the hardest things to say can be the most encouraging.
So what now? I basically wrote one of my personal journal entries right here, but where do we go from this?
I took a long hard look at myself this morning. I prayed. I talked it out. I cried (haha.. obviously, right?). Then I came to three points that I think will help us all in this journey (if you can relate even the slightest).
Be brave to not let your emotions lead you, but to lead your own emotions.
1. Get it out with a trusted friend/leader/accountability partner.
I can't tell you how important this is. Shoving things down does not help at all. I know from experience that shoving things down just makes for a not-that-long-later explosive situation. You will destroy friendships, relationships, and good things by not talking about what is going on.
2. Combat feelings with Scripture.
Scripture over feelings. Scripture over thoughts. Truth over fear. Truth over lies. This is what I am constantly telling myself. Once you realize that what you're feeling is real, and you've talked it out, you can begin to combat the lies (because you and I both know that in our emotions, we tend to lean into the lies that say "This only happened because you're not good enough/pretty enough/fast enough/smart enough/etc.." you know the lies). Honestly, I know that you and I are both capable of being so brave as to be able to fight off the lies and guilt we find ourselves falling into. Maybe sometimes the Truth hurts. But it also heals.
3. Submit Thoughts to Christ - Declare Victory - Be Positive about the Situation.
This one is a three-part-er, but it's not as hard as it may seem. When those thoughts come up (or back), submit them to Christ. That can be reciting that scripture you found to combat your feelings. It can also be praying when you seem to be thinking of the bad stuff. The list goes on. Also, declare victory over your situation because God can and will be in the midst of whatever you're going through. This part has changed my life so much! Once I remember that my life is in the hands of the Almighty God, I can declare that victory will come to the situation. My prayer will be answered! I may not be the way that I want it to be, but it will be the best for me. My God has victory over any situation. My emotions cannot change that and will not get in the way of remembering and knowing that. Lastly, but very importantly, be positive about what is going on. Be honest, but also be positive. You and I can drag ourselves through the adventures of life or we can enjoy it! "Enjoying a storm!? Impossible!" Not really! We can receive joy from God, if only we'd be willing to ask and submit to growing in the middle of it. This will change your perspective, your attitude, and maybe even your "Storm Life". :)
I want you to be honest with yourself. Understand that we all struggle with things, and if you don't feel like you struggle with this then great! Keep up what you're doing! But if you know that you are and are ready to be brave and move into all that God has for you, please pray about it. Ask for the chisel to be in the hand of the artist. Ask him to help you through it with strength, perseverance, and joy.
Lastly, I want to say that emotions are good things; but, they should not become a hinderance in your relationships/kingdom building/work. Let's be brave enough to say "this is not how life should be," and make an effort to change something.
(Some parts of this were definitely taken out of my personal journal. I had to be brave enough to post it, lol!)
Mercy Mercy (Acoustic) - Hillsong United
Thanks for being BRAVE Kimmy! I've been playing Bethel Musics song You Make ME Brave and this post just affirms that I too need to be BRAVE ;D
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