I have got to be honest: I type waaaaay too much in my blog posts sometimes. Then seconds before posting it (after reading it a million and ten times) I go back and delete a bunch of stuff because I realize that I didn't write a blog post but rather a novel. So here's my attempt at a "shorter" blog post (lol).
Okay, so basically all my life I've had this thought that has both: brightened my smile and caused me tears. This thought is so true that I wince at the fact that I'm going to share it. This thought is what people might often think of themselves and then hide; but, today I'm going to share it with the world. Or at least you.
I have never had a normal life.
That's right! I said it! I have never had a normal life and sometimes that makes me happy while other times I cry and ask God why it is so. But right now, as I was planning for my future (or at least hoping for the future) I realized that I can't say yes to everything at once. I can't study abroad, live in a dorm, be an RA, blog for my (hopeful) future college, be apart of the outreach missions team (on every single mission trip they go on), hold down a good student job, go on adventures throughout LA on the weekends, AND still make it back to wherever I may live and have enough time to study so that I can keep up that straight A GPA. The GPA thing was a joke. Sort of. I'm still praying about passing my current city college classes (*insert nervous laughing emoji*). But I say all this to say I really couldn't do everything in one semester that I would hope to do because I can't be in a thousand places at once (no matter how hard I try/pray/wish). Whenever you say "yes" to something, you're saying "no" to other things.
Quick example: marriage. You say "yes" to the man/woman of your dreams (hopefully) and say "no" to everyone else. That's that.
For me, I grew up living a really different life: my parents divorced when I was young, yet I still on ocassion had the opportunity to see him (honestly confused why he didn't live with us); one of my sisters was the major role in teaching me how to do life (swing on a swing, making dinner, doing math, learning to read, etc); I came to accepting Jesus on my own (considering at that time I was the only one in my immediate household family attending church); practicing on my own how to do toe-touches, front hand springs, and chants so that I could end up making my freshman + sophomore cheer team; moving to California on my own at 16 to live with my sister and brother in law and pursue God even more fervently; Giving up everything I've ever known to move somewhere that I didn't even know what the nearest beach was (I assumed Huntington...and it's totally not, lol); and so many more things that we don't even have the time to get into right now.
My life has always been different and I've learned to thank God for all the lessons and hurts and growth that has come my way because it's been quite an adventure; and adventure is what I do. All those things that I chose to do-- cheer in high school for 2 years, accept Jesus, move to California-- all these things required a bit of bravery. I knew that I would be the weakest link in my cheer team and that I'd have to work 10x harder than everyone else to get to where they were at (considering they had mostly all been cheering for 7-10 years already). I knew that accepting Jesus would change my whole life. If I wasn't already one of the least coolest people in my middle school, I had officially claimed Presidency of the Association of Un-Cool Kids. I had said "yes" to Jesus and "no" to everything that wasn't of Him. Moving to California.... oh, if only you knew the bravery it took to do that. My whole life had been built somewhere else and I was saying "yes" when God called me to move and "no" to the future I might have had there. Now don't get me wrong, if I had the opportunity to choose again I would still always choose moving to California. But what I'm saying is that I had to be brave enough to say, "I'm not going to finish high school with my friends. I'm not going to get my Cosmetology license. I'm not going to continue dating my boyfriend. I'm not going to eventually move in with some friends and go to University together. I'm not going to be able to hang out face-to-face with my best friend anymore." And that took a lot. But I'm so glad I said "no" to those things because God had something (and still has so much more) incredible to give me. He continues to amaze me with new friends, new adventures, new church family, and new opportunities to be brave.
I guess I say all this to say, saying "Yes" to one thing means saying "No" to a plethora of things. And it takes bravery. By all means, I did not just flip a coin and go for it. I had to be brave enough to say "yes" and move forward. No matter how many times I have failed (and will fail), I know that being brave enough to take the first step and do something will always be worth it. Failure is just growth disguised. So take that chance! Pray about your dreams! Find out your next steps and do that thing!
Be brave and move forward because when you say "yes" to a God thing, all the "no's" won't matter anymore.
P.S. Sorry that this was still long, but I hope you enjoyed it! Probs the shortest I'll be able to get my posts lol!
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