#BravelyHonest: Lead It

This post is not going to have a story with an ending, but bare with me. We'll get there someday soon. :)

If you didn't know already, I'm a girl. *Insert fake laughter + affirmations of my humor* (kidding). I have emotions (and lots of them). I have times when I'm more emotional than other times. I have days when I feel completely emotionless. Fact of the matter is, for most of my life my emotions have lead me to do/say/think some crazy things. Not all of them have been bad, but not all of them have been good either.

Why do I say this? Because right now in my life and in yours we have an opportunity to allow God to chisel something away. We have the opportunity to say, "Yes God, I trust you and know that you have the best plan for me. Chisel out of me anything not of You." Yet, most days we decide to ignore that opportunity. Why do we do that? Now the list could be extremely short or long for many of us, but for me it is fear. I am afraid to get hurt. I am mostly afraid to get hurt and then not know how to recover. I've been hurt a lot in my life (as I'm sure everyone reading this can relate) and although the healing process has gotten clearer in my recent hurts, it doesn't make it hurt any less. You will still go through times when the healing takes more than a few days; when it takes months, maybe even years. The problem is fear for me; but, I'm ready to overcome that.

Recently, I asked God to "chisel" out some stuff in me. It didn't take very long because the list of things that separate me from being exactly like Christ is pretty long. God called out my emotions. When I get hurt, upset, angry, or basically any of the HALT emotions (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), I go into auto-pilot and my emotions take over. I say things I don't mean, do things that mess good things up, and think things that send me into night-long cry-sessions. As much as it pains me to say it, my emotions have led me for a long time.

This is not easy to say, just so you know. My heart is aching and my hands keep pulling back from the keyboard while my mind is saying, "Just erase the majority of what you've typed and say something 'encouraging' instead." But that's not what I'm going to do. You know I love to write encouraging things, but I believe that sometimes the hardest things to say can be the most encouraging.

So what now? I basically wrote one of my personal journal entries right here, but where do we go from this?

I took a long hard look at myself this morning. I prayed. I talked it out. I cried (haha.. obviously, right?). Then I came to three points that I think will help us all in this journey (if you can relate even the slightest).

Be brave to not let your emotions lead you, but to lead your own emotions.


1. Get it out with a trusted friend/leader/accountability partner.
I can't tell you how important this is. Shoving things down does not help at all. I know from experience that shoving things down just makes for a not-that-long-later explosive situation. You will destroy friendships, relationships, and good things by not talking about what is going on.

2. Combat feelings with Scripture.
Scripture over feelings. Scripture over thoughts. Truth over fear. Truth over lies. This is what I am constantly telling myself. Once you realize that what you're feeling is real, and you've talked it out, you can begin to combat the lies (because you and I both know that in our emotions, we tend to lean into the lies that say "This only happened because you're not good enough/pretty enough/fast enough/smart enough/etc.." you know the lies). Honestly, I know that you and I are both capable of being so brave as to be able to fight off the lies and guilt we find ourselves falling into. Maybe sometimes the Truth hurts. But it also heals.

3. Submit Thoughts to Christ - Declare Victory - Be Positive about the Situation.
This one is a three-part-er, but it's not as hard as it may seem. When those thoughts come up (or back), submit them to Christ. That can be reciting that scripture you found to combat your feelings. It can also be praying when you seem to be thinking of the bad stuff. The list goes on. Also, declare victory over your situation because God can and will be in the midst of whatever you're going through. This part has changed my life so much! Once I remember that my life is in the hands of the Almighty God, I can declare that victory will come to the situation. My prayer will be answered! I may not be the way that I want it to be, but it will be the best for me. My God has victory over any situation. My emotions cannot change that and will not get in the way of remembering and knowing that. Lastly, but very importantly, be positive about what is going on. Be honest, but also be positive. You and I can drag ourselves through the adventures of life or we can enjoy it! "Enjoying a storm!? Impossible!" Not really! We can receive joy from God, if only we'd be willing to ask and submit to growing in the middle of it. This will change your perspective, your attitude, and maybe even your "Storm Life". :)


I want you to be honest with yourself. Understand that we all struggle with things, and if you don't feel like you struggle with this then great! Keep up what you're doing! But if you know that you are and are ready to be brave and move into all that God has for you, please pray about it. Ask for the chisel to be in the hand of the artist. Ask him to help you through it with strength, perseverance, and joy.

Lastly, I want to say that emotions are good things; but, they should not become a hinderance in your relationships/kingdom building/work. Let's be brave enough to say "this is not how life should be," and make an effort to change something.

(Some parts of this were definitely taken out of my personal journal. I had to be brave enough to post it, lol!)

Mercy Mercy (Acoustic) - Hillsong United

#BraveMoments: Saying Yes Means...

I have got to be honest: I type waaaaay too much in my blog posts sometimes. Then seconds before posting it (after reading it a million and ten times) I go back and delete a bunch of stuff because I realize that I didn't write a blog post but rather a novel. So here's my attempt at a "shorter" blog post (lol).

Okay, so basically all my life I've had this thought that has both: brightened my smile and caused me tears. This thought is so true that I wince at the fact that I'm going to share it. This thought is what people might often think of themselves and then hide; but, today I'm going to share it with the world. Or at least you.

I have never had a normal life.

That's right! I said it! I have never had a normal life and sometimes that makes me happy while other times I cry and ask God why it is so. But right now, as I was planning for my future (or at least hoping for the future) I realized that I can't say yes to everything at once. I can't study abroad, live in a dorm, be an RA, blog for my (hopeful) future college, be apart of the outreach missions team (on every single mission trip they go on), hold down a good student job, go on adventures throughout LA on the weekends, AND still make it back to wherever I may live and have enough time to study so that I can keep up that straight A GPA. The GPA thing was a joke. Sort of. I'm still praying about passing my current city college classes (*insert nervous laughing emoji*). But I say all this to say I really couldn't do everything in one semester that I would hope to do because I can't be in a thousand places at once (no matter how hard I try/pray/wish). Whenever you say "yes" to something, you're saying "no" to other things.

Quick example: marriage. You say "yes" to the man/woman of your dreams (hopefully) and say "no" to everyone else. That's that.

For me, I grew up living a really different life: my parents divorced when I was young, yet I still on ocassion had the opportunity to see him (honestly confused why he didn't live with us); one of my sisters was the major role in teaching me how to do life (swing on a swing, making dinner, doing math, learning to read, etc); I came to accepting Jesus on my own (considering at that time I was the only one in my immediate household family attending church); practicing on my own how to do toe-touches, front hand springs, and chants so that I could end up making my freshman + sophomore cheer team; moving to California on my own at 16 to live with my sister and brother in law and pursue God even more fervently; Giving up everything I've ever known to move somewhere that I didn't even know what the nearest beach was (I assumed Huntington...and it's totally not, lol); and so many more things that we don't even have the time to get into right now.

My life has always been different and I've learned to thank God for all the lessons and hurts and growth that has come my way because it's been quite an adventure; and adventure is what I do. All those things that I chose to do-- cheer in high school for 2 years, accept Jesus, move to California-- all these things required a bit of bravery. I knew that I would be the weakest link in my cheer team and that I'd have to work 10x harder than everyone else to get to where they were at (considering they had mostly all been cheering for 7-10 years already). I knew that accepting Jesus would change my whole life. If I wasn't already one of the least coolest people in my middle school, I had officially claimed Presidency of the Association of Un-Cool Kids. I had said "yes" to Jesus and "no" to everything that wasn't of Him. Moving to California.... oh, if only you knew the bravery it took to do that. My whole life had been built somewhere else and I was saying "yes" when God called me to move and "no" to the future I might have had there. Now don't get me wrong, if I had the opportunity to choose again I would still always choose moving to California. But what I'm saying is that I had to be brave enough to say, "I'm not going to finish high school with my friends. I'm not going to get my Cosmetology license. I'm not going to continue dating my boyfriend. I'm not going to eventually move in with some friends and go to University together. I'm not going to be able to hang out face-to-face with my best friend anymore." And that took a lot. But I'm so glad I said "no" to those things because God had something (and still has so much more) incredible to give me. He continues to amaze me with new friends, new adventures, new church family, and new opportunities to be brave.

I guess I say all this to say, saying "Yes" to one thing means saying "No" to a plethora of things. And it takes bravery. By all means, I did not just flip a coin and go for it. I had to be brave enough to say "yes" and move forward. No matter how many times I have failed (and will fail), I know that being brave enough to take the first step and do something will always be worth it. Failure is just growth disguised. So take that chance! Pray about your dreams! Find out your next steps and do that thing!

Be brave and move forward because when you say "yes" to a God thing, all the "no's" won't matter anymore.

P.S. Sorry that this was still long, but I hope you enjoyed it! Probs the shortest I'll be able to get my posts lol!

2015 • The Year of Adventurous Bravery (And a 2014 recap if you missed it)

In my last post, I introduced you all to a little thing I'm doing this year. I'm giving 2015 a theme. The theme for this year felt very God-given. I felt that the words came to my mind and I could see how 2015 might be my year of Adventurous Bravery. I want to take a few minutes to talk about that and maybe inspire some of you to pray about a theme for your year.

2014 was filled with a plethora of growth opportunities. Some I grabbed a hold of while some I missed out on. I just wanted to quickly share some really cool moments from 2014.

In the beginning of the year, I started things off right by attending our first annual Elevate Conference at my church. Incredible stuff. I have always been enthralled with the idea of freedom in worship and not being nervous about what others think of your worship (even if I haven't always been the best at it). However, this conference helped me to let go and be free to worship. It was wonderful.

February rolled around and I became content with singleness (which was a hard thing for me to do.. especially in the month of Love). I found my worth in being the King's daughter and read up on some awesome books about dating (for the future).

March was hectic. I scrambled getting together my vocal pieces for my audition at the conservatory of the university I had been accepted to. A week later, I began taking piano lessons and realized that I was made to play this instrument. Anxiety set in as I waited for my letter from the conservatory. I had to give it to God no matter what the letter said. The day of the WLAK concert that we held at our church, I had to stop by our house to get my camera. I walked in and saw some mail on the floor. I grabbed the couple of letters addressed to me and went on my way. Needless to say, I spent a good amount of time crying that day. I had worked for almost over a year to get my pieces together because I had just begun taking music lessons even though my heart for music dated back to childhood. While it still hurt me deeply, I know there were reasons God kept me from attending and being accepted into the program. I grew from that and made up my mind to be happy with what comes my way.

I don't remember much of April or May, except that I spent quite a bit of time finishing up novels for my AP English and Literature class. Which was crazy awesome.

June holds one of my favorite memories. My graduation day. It did not go perfectly. It was not the best day of my whole life. And I graduated with 500+ students that I had never met. #OnlineSchoolProblems. However, the feeling I felt that day was a feeling to last me 100 years. I felt accomplished. Not just the Yay-I-Graduated-High-School kind of accomplished, but the This-Was-Once-Doubted-But-Now-I've-Achieved-It accomplished. Quick insight: I was told that I would never graduate high school from some close people to me and my sophomore year of HS began to solidify that doubt within me. A major change happened in my life after my sophomore year and I transferred to online school in another state. With a support team, a new school, a different environment, and a renewed hunger for education, I not only graduated, but also with better grades that I had started HS with!

July was a month of break and heat and students and fun. Lots of fun.

In August, I got my license. I also grew the most I had probably all year. Lots of tough things I had to overcome, but lots of growth because of it. I also started college this month. Wow, let me tell you what a change it was to go from two years of online HS to a community college with loads of new people. My inner WOO (Gallup Strength) went crazy!

September must have been relatively short in my memory because I don't remember much. Or maybe I just slept through it all. That was a slight Green Day reference if anyone caught that. No? Okay, lol.

October! October, October, October. I met some amazing people that I had friended on a Facebook group for everyone who was accepted to a university I was looking to go to. It was great. Following that, I gave my testimony at a women's retreat with 200+ women and my heart exploded as I was embraced with so much love and compassion by these women. Chains were broken and a new song was placed upon my heart. I revamped my blog that weekend.

November was quick. Not much to say.

December was a wonderful call to my heart. It told me to refocus and use my Futuristic (Gallup Strength) to press on and look forward to all that God will do the following year. What a year it will be.


Now that I've quickly recapped 2014, let me tell you a bit about what 2015 looks like. Whether or not my plan will come to pass this year, I know that God has big adventures planned.

2015: The Year of Adventurous Bravery

What is Adventurous Bravery? This is where you must decide if you will step out on the waters; go past the safety borders; open your heart and mind to bigger wonders; OR if you will stay; if you will watch as others soar with the Lord into all that He has for them and be comfortable in your walk. I've often heard that God is not concerned with our comfortability as much as he is concerned with out character. I want to grow into all that God has for me and be surprised when I look at who I was right now to who I will become by the end of the year.

God is going to take me on many adventures (big + small), but will I be ready to embrace them? 

My sister is such a sweetheart. Yesterday, I was talking to her about this year's theme and sharing with her my fears and also my excitements. She told me that she thinks that I am brave because of some of the things that I've done without the fear of failure. How sweet it was to hear that and how greatly I needed it. It reminded me that I don't always see my own growth. Not only that, but I also was reminded that each step onto the water is a step towards being brave. I might fail at first, but it's the willingness to fail and get back up that can set you on a path to becoming adventurously brave.

So this year, I'm praying for new adventures. For adventures that I have no other choice but to be Brave or give up. And for the ability to always say no the latter when God is calling me.

"Worry and worship cannot exist in the same space. One always displaces the other. Choose worship." - Louie Giglio